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Deborah Schull's avatar

Caitlin, thank you for sharing this; it must have taken courage. I often wonder how you're doing, and it helps a lot to have a better understanding of what you're going through. I'm also glad the writings of Gabor Mate were helpful; I discovered him ("by chance") online about a year ago and was floored; I even worked with a 'Compassionate Inquiry' practitioner in the City for a while. You have been and continue to be a hero of mine—really. I'm so glad you're getting and giving yourself the rest and support needed right now. Best, Deborah

Caitlin Warbelow's avatar

Deborah, thank you so much for your suppurt and kind words. I promise I'll be back to doing lessons soon!

Marian McQuinn's avatar

Hi Caitlin wow you have travelled far on this road...I don't have MS but I am chronically ill. The mind and body connection continues to appear in medical studies and I can only say I have had to learn to listen to my body. I have struggled with the belief I must have done something wrong. My life has changed so much and I try to do as much as I can to enjoy living...small things mean a lot more. A lot of cancer diagnoses were missed during Covid I believe as people were scared to go to doctors. Thank you for sharing your story ❤️ I know it's hard. Marian 🌼

Caitlin Warbelow's avatar

I understand all of this so very much, Marian. All my best to you!

MikeAK's avatar

Caitlin,

Kind of a gut punch to be diagnosed with MS. But, maybe knowing is helpful. Or, maybe not.

As I age, mortality starts creeping into my thoughts. There is far more of my life behind me than ahead. I have been ruminating about my own end (or, the somewhat more immediate, when will I no longer be able to do what I have been doing).

Is knowing one has a dread disease better than not knowing? I am a lousy example, because I don’t want to know. I am fit and feel fine, for someone my age. I missed out on dying young.

At some point, I WILL age out of physically being able to do some things. Hand arthritis is slowly becoming more of an impending hinderance. NOT looking forward to that, to HAVING to stop.

Some thoughts from others:

This general idea comes up in various forms, so it is much older than Tolkien:

“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

This song written by Bob Franke can bring tears to my eyes depending on where my head is at. I have not found Bob Franke singing it, but you can find other performances on YouTube.

THANKSGIVING EVE

(by Bob Franke)

It's so easy to dream of the days gone by;

It's a hard thing to think of the times to come.

But the grace to accept every moment as a gift

Is a gift that is given to some.

What can you do with your days but work and hope?

Let your dreams bind your work to your play.

What can you do with each moment of your life,

But love 'til you've loved it away,

Love 'til you've loved it away.

There are sorrows enough for the whole world's end;

There are no guarantees but the grave.

But the lives that we lived and the times that we spent

Are a treasure too precious to save.

What can you do ...

As it was so it is, as it is shall it be,

And it shall be while lips that kiss have breath.

Many waters indeed only nurture love's seed

And its flower overshadows the power of death.

What can you do ...

What can you do ...

Caitlin Warbelow's avatar

Thank you for this, Mike.

Leanne Cooper's avatar

What an incredibly brave and beautiful outpouring of your inner self and process. I don’t know you but I’ve admired your musicianship for quite some time. I played along on my flute at a few of your online Covid sessions. Anyway, thank you for your words. They should be shared widely, as I believe they will help so many others who are struggling with chronic illness. Again, thank you so much. My heart extends to yours…

Caitlin Warbelow's avatar

Thank you. Sending all my best to you.